Monday, December 29, 2008

Another Void In My Life

Before I begin, I need to apologize to my dear friend Corey because I hadn't yet read his most recent blog post before I contacted him last night.

After reading his latest post, I feel a bit selfish, like a heel. I recalled sobbing my tale of woe to him not realizing his own saga.

Brother, you gots my prayers, you know that...

Now, my sad news. After months of prolonged Alzheimer's and other health maladies, my grandfather made the transition from this life into the next yesterday afternoon. For me, I feel numb. I'm not sad, but feeling a void.

Granddaddy and I weren't particularly close. Mostly my heart aches for my family members who were. My mum, my aunties, and uncles are taking his passing pretty hard. I feel for them. Somehow, through their pain, I'm wondering what I missed out on? Granddaddy was in and out of my life, never around for long. It's a long story as to why, nothing I'll explain today, but his life still had merit and impact on mine. Through his children, their lives were the ones that fostered and molded me, guided me to become the man I am today. So somewhere, he did something right.

Granddaddy's children managed to maintain a satisfying relationship with him. Here was a man who had two families, one white, one black, attempting to stride the racial equality fence in a day when it was still a social taboo. My friend Roxanne finds it incredulous my gramps was a white man. I respond to her, shake your family tree hard enough, you might be surprised who falls out.

For what its worth, my family is no different than anyone else's, We had laughter, joy, tears, some sadness, yes, cussin', riot readin', but most important, there was love. My grand's passing leaves a void in my life simply for the fact I'll never know the man he was. The kind soul who, sure made mistakes, but was generous and loving. He musta done something right, my Grandma had six children with him...shoot! LOL. But here is a man who forever more will be a mystery to me. Unlike my other grandfather, I don't have the treasured memories of watching sports, throwing a football, or those things little boys do with with their Pop-Pop. No, he's gone now...

For now. I lift up my head, say a prayer in his memory, and give God the thanks Granddaddy's suffering is no more...


ToddyEnglish said...

I am so sorry to hear this. My uncle died this christmas to. I didn't really want to blog about it though. Sending you and the fam good vibrations! ::hugs::

Anyway, chile, we all got some marshmellows floating around in our cocoa. My mother's side of the family looks like the United Nations...haha.

Darius T. Williams said...

Yo - sorry to hear about your Gramps! Relive the memories - it'll put a smile on your face.


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