You know, sometimes so frikkin' frustrating when folks who irritate you, never leave. I'm dealing with a nuisance who like the plague, is hard to rid.
Typically, I try keep the negative on a leash. No time for bullshissz rising from the depths. Yet when I'm alone, I lose personal perspective, give in, and surrender to doubt. Some people plain where me out that I can no longer maintain the smiles, being my usual friendly loveable self. Some folks are just evil. Vampires waiting to drain you anything good and positive.
So, blah blah blah, is back in town. I've known it. I've been doing my best to avoid them in anyway possible, but because we have the same circle of friends, our meeting up was unavoidable. So we did run into each other a few weeks ago and I've been a sour puss ever since. Just down right moody.
Not everything is perfect in Ianland. The damn Incubus is back. Well, not the Incubus, but one of my many Incubi. Jeez. Just when you thought it was safe to live and let live, asshole keep coming back.
I'm holding steady. Forgiveness is a process. Just saying the words is only the beginning. The process is on-going. I don't forgive easily and I don't forget easily. Malign my name, or my person, and I'll hold on to that like luggage at the airport.
Why do mean people exist? Go shit in your own cornflakes, OK?
The person creating that dark place is a pest who darts in and out of my life, Where I go, coincidentally, they're there! Why is it the people you want nothing to do with, associate in any form, tend to always, ALWAYS, eek their way into your space? Get the hell away from me! Please. You said what you had to say, wanted things to take it's own resolution, yet you're still pestering me. Oh, I'm trying so hard not to be too derogatory or be low rent by swearin' all up in this post, but damn.
The best part of tonight though, is Big D...Darryl is coming over after he gets off work. I plan on burying my face in his chest, let the lug hold me and pretend he'll make everything safe and cozy. LOL. It's funny. A friend asked me the other day if I was falling for D and I admitted I'm fighting it. Dude makes me feel good. I know when he comes home tonight, he'll mos def make the world brighter. My world. So, ....shhhhh. Don't tell him, but yeah I like my homme. I mean like, like let's be boyfriends already. Boyfriend? Yes, boyfriend.
As for the arschloch, well... I need to be SO patient with myself first and foremost, and continue to practice that forgiveness. In time, their hurt can't and WON'T bother me anymore. I needed to get this off my chest. Sorry if I let the whiny sad sack Jinn out of the bottle. We all can't be an emotionless Slappy London, can we?
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