Saturday, March 10, 2007

A Stallion's Asian Lesson

Overall, I'm not gonna trip over an Asian man like my straight brethren do over Asian women. I'm attracted to Asian men least than other men, but perhaps that's due to my past experiences.

I haven't known many Asian men, only women. The few I've known haven't always been kind, like the guy I lived across the hall from in the dorms, Yu-Tan. I carried negative opinions about them for years. Foolishly, arrogantly, perhaps even with a touch of racism, I judged all gay Asian men to be the same.

That opinion changed a few years ago when I met a Vietnamese man at the bars downtown. He introduced himself to me, we bought drinks, talked awhile... we had a nice long conversation. His name was Kahn Li, and yes, we exchanged numbers. I never called him, he never called me. It was one of those live in the moment deals. I'm OK with it. He was cute and I learned to appreciate beauty in all its forms and ethnicity.

The important lesson I learned is I still have to put away many of my preconceived notions about people. I still have too many misconceptions about Asians. Like everyone else, they believe in tradition, love, glory, what not. It surprised me with Khan how open he was about his sexuality. How kind and polite he was to me. As I've said, I've been mistreated in the past by some folks. Looked down upon because I was Black, because I was heavy, because I was perceived as less intelligent. Khan, in one evening, got me to reexamine my mistreatment from an expected treatment from the whole to an isolated incident from the few.

Asian men are beautiful and exotic, but I rarely am I drawn to them like an African American, Latino, or Caucasian men. Still, I sometimes find myself ogling over a few. My tastes in men variety like the wind. I find smallish, but not too wispy, guys attractive. I regret never calling Kahn. Perhaps things could've been interesting. I dunno.

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