Some of you might be acquainted with a YouTube program called The "&" Show. Recently I discovered one broadcast via the African American Opinion blog. I went to YouTube and caught a few other programs, highlighting issues and concerns of gay Black men.
The first video I saw Ugly Gay Men seemingly attacked anyone who doesn't fit the classic mold of beauty. If you've crooked teeth, an ounce of fat, or are slightly less than perfect, well you might as well climb into a box and die now. The hosts briefly broached ugliness in one's attitudes and personality, but focused primarily on how a person looks.
With regards to second video viewed, Do (Gay) Black Men Need Black Women, the two hosts disagreed on having women present in their lives. I won't rehash the conversation, just that both videos didn't seem to uphold a measure of support or true understanding. I put a link at the bottom of the page. See for yourselves.
I find myself struggling with reconciling these brothers with their opinions. While I found the topic interesting, funny to an extent, I disagreed with the overall tone and disassociation with human spirit the hosts approached. Both, at times, were negative and critical than helpful or compassionate. I dunno. These brothers are entitled to their opinions based on life as they see it, but damn, the judgment cast from upon high! Shit. Do you walk amongst mortal men, my brothers?
Why are gay men so critical of each other? Why are we faultfinding of our sisters, both straight and lesbian, who've had our back when no one else would? After all we've encountered, coming to terms with our sexuality, dealing with negative opinions from the church, our families, our communities, and the general discrimination from outside ethnic persuasions (read racists), why do we tear each other down? Why can't we uplift, support, and nurture each other in positive ways?
Yes. I know. Ever the idealist, right? But seriously do we need to constantly back bite amongst ourselves? If we can't be accepting of one another for our uniqueness in the Black Gay/Same Gender Loving community, how do we expect our straight counterparts to do so? How do we expect to bridge the gap between gays and lesbians, if we're dividing ourselves from our lesbian sisters? IF we disrespect our straight sisters, sometimes our only supporters, how do we anticipate being a part of the larger, mainstream Black community? My Brothers! Please. Wake up!
With regards to the two moderators of these videos, Jared, the light-skinned brother, was more grounded, warm, compassionate, and likable, than his co-host, Nathan. While I didn't agree entirely with Jared, he presented himself in a more friendly, agreeable manner, coming off more level-headed.
So why indeed? To gay men who are hypercritical, do you think you'll never grow old? Be the subject of someone's scorn or ridicule? Does it not hurt, on some level, to be ripped apart by someone else? There's a right way and the wrong way to approach things in this life. Again, We all have our own sense of need, but does ignorance and intolerance have to be a factor in telling a brother you're not interested in him? It shouldn't. People have feelings. Do you care about anyone else's well-being besides your own?
Someday, Lord willing, you'll reach 40-, 50-, 60-years old. Your vitality is gonna change. You might not be as firm as you are today. You might not turn heads like you used to. Your skin will change, hair will go gray or bald, or, God forbid, you might start getting a less firm around the middle. Translation: get fat! Eek! The horror!
Our own opinions and viewpoints differ, I realize. You might disagree with mine and I might do the same with yours. What makes being human so wonderful is our ability to disagree. Being different is what defines us. If we were all the same cookie-cutter-carbon-copy of one another, how boring would that be? But another aspect that makes us human, is our sense for compassion and acceptance. Can't you practice this?
I'm not throwing stones. We all have a tendency to be critical. Far be it for me to sit here and say I've never made a nasty remark about another individual. However, I'm learning to respect others. It comes with age. I'll be the first to admit my features aren't flawless! I never let it stop me meeting others though. And I never, not once, do I let it deflate my pride in myself. I'd like to say I have heart. If that much hasn't been evident through my blogging, then I need to stop here and now.
Anyway, I zipped and uploaded both videos to Sendspace. Take a moment, download the videos, watch 'em, and reflect. Let me know, either in the comments section or by email, what you thought. I'm curious. Maybe I'm wrong on this one. I don't think so though.
One last note. I'm almost positive I've been reading Jared's blog, His Daily Variety, and hadn't realized he's the light-skinned moderator from The "&" Show. At least, I think he and that blogger are one and the same. I only discovered his blog last week and found the Do (Gay) Black Men Need Black Women clip on Monday. I like what Jared has to say in his blog, but find The "&" Show leaves a sour mood in my spirit. Hmm. I'll have to keep investigating...
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