Monday, May 3, 2010

Freedoms

It's been a while since I've done any posting to the blogs. I'm taking care of that this morning. Why at the wee hours of the morning I dunno. It's sticky and humid. The rain is falling and I have to be up for work in about two hours. Plan on going back to bed soon enough, but wanted to pen a few thoughts first.

So, if there's anyone who still reads this personal blog journey, thanks. You don't know how many times I've wrestled in the last two months with just deleting the whole thing. My heart really isn't into blogging anymore. I've been going to therapy on a regular basis and truth be told, this go round has been the worst. Oh I'm learning, but this time I got an excellent therapist who isn't pulling any punches and allowing me to duck and dodge my issues. I'm gettign to the nitty gritty with what's broken with me. Unfortunately too much esteem and confidence issues are coming to the surface. I've acting a bit reckless and fool-hearty, but managing to stay on track. I even dealt with some much need unresolved issues with my deceased father. That's a work in progress. Hell, my life feels like an episode of Ruby! (Weight issues and all!)

So, in a few weeks I'm headed back to the West Coast, twice. Once more back to the City of Angels, and a second time to Seattle. Wow. Lord. If anyone told me last year I'd be flying this much in 2010, I'd told them they was lyin'. The LA trip is quasi-business related (no drunken stupors this time) and the Seattle trip is for a work conference. Ugh. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to either trip. Well, kinda LA. I get to see some of my friends out there, but as I said, it's business not a recreational. I'm not complaining though. I escape the confines of my humdrum world if only for six days.

Overall, I'm feeling better than I've had for some time. Therapy has helped, it's just rough. The impossible task is letting go of the things I don't have, and holding on to the things I do. Or should I say as well, letting go of the things I don't need and picking up the things I do. Let's say this again, shall we? Letting go of the things I don't need and pick up the things that I do. So true.

OK, That's enough for now and I'm sleepy. Time for a quick nap before I have to get back up in an hour and a half.

4 comments:

Sinia Safi said...

Great to hear from you and that you are making good progress with yourself.

All the best in the coming days, and as you say.... may you let go that which u don't need and pick up tat which you need.

ideasinforum said...

Hey dude,
I was surfing through some random blogs about 2 weeks ago and bookmarked it, intending to return soon to read it. Your description reminded me of the intent of my blog and where I come from. So even as a first time reader, I am sorry to hear you are going through some tough times. I hope you have a good trip and I look forward to reading more in the future!

Regards, Tori

Yuuki said...

Really nice to hear from you after that long time...

I think the 6 day trip will be good for you and your way of thinking is really optimistic and thats how it should be...
I really think that after a terrible period of life it will be always better.. at least I hope so...

Greetings
Sarah

Corey @ I'll Keep You Posted said...

Welcome back, Ian! And you're going to be FINE! You've heard of growing pains, haven't you? THEY HURT!

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