Thursday, November 19, 2009
So in speaking with a close friend last night, I relayed that I am very tired....spiritually, physically, emotionally...and I don't have much to give these days. It's sad when you wake more exhausted than when you went to bed. These next couple of weeks are going to be tough because I sense I'm entering into one of my funks. Ill timed, this funk will overlap the Holiday Season, which is probably the worst time for me to be experiencing any mental health crisis.
Usually I enjoy the Holiday Season, but as I grow older and the solid fact I am alone in many ways...not just in a relationship, but in family situations too, makes it harder to get all gleeful and ecstatic about this time of year. I kinda am losing my faith and diligence with church/faith, although I still believe the Creator has a Plan for me (my inner Six told me so, so I believe!), but I just am worn out. Completely. I'm faking it, going through the motions, and nothing really is worthy of writing home about. Nada.
One particular highlight of my day is when I get the chance to chat with my friend, they usually can snap me outta my moroseness, but therein is a whole 'nother mess I really don't feel like discussing. So, that said, I mentioned to them last night that each day becomes increasingly that much hard to throw me feet over the edge, and place on the flo', and get the day going. It's just the same old shit.
I'm working overtime to try and save up money for the Holidays and my birthday vacation, but then my job decided to fuck us real good by pulling a fast one. Can't explain that sitch for obvious reasons...only that I'm just about ready to turn in my papers and go flip some burgers. Being chained to a desk, besieged all day with exhausting work that's like a never ending tide, wears on a person after awhile. Don't get me wrong I like the work I do, just not how the system operates. Hmm. I love to be able to sit in my office all day long and have my employees wonder what i do all day, while I deligate work to everyone else, come in late, leave early...but lemme stop. You know shit always gets back. But it if does, oh well. I ain't mentioned not one damn name.... Far as any of you know, I could be working for the Obama Administration...in which case I would love and adore my boss...but naw. I'm just an average peon. Or is it pee-on? Hmph!
Anyhoo. It's still early this morning and I'm gonna try to get a few more winks before having to get up and face yet another day of overload...I'm just fucking exhausted.
While this blog is not really intended to show adult content, I can't guarantee that an occasional image of male nudity won't appear. Be advised that this blog is intended to be read by people with an open mind. I don't claim any rights to the images nor do I have any knowledge of the sexuality of persons featured (unless they are openly gay...duh). Enjoy yourself and take a small step in my every day life and pondering... Feel free to email any comments or opinions.