Love, Beautiful Love

You can catch more of these young bruthas at their Tumblr. It warms my heart that folks are doing the damn thing oh, so right! Check out the Guys With Pride Campaign while you're at it and sign the petition.

The Body Beautiful

I'm learning to love it....

Pride In The Neighbor

There are little moments where I have to stop and smile. Truly.

This morning on my way to work I caught a sight that you don't see too often in my neck of the woods. Two black men, in their 30's, holding hands, all boo'd up happily, without a care in the world, walking down the street.

Yes, it was a beautiful sight to see. And just when I had given up on open expression of romance here, at least for black men. I see more often with men of other races, but rarely with gay black men in Harrisburg.

This isn't the big city. This is central PA. Attitudes are strange around here. Not necessarily backwards, just conservative. I wouldn't be surprised seeing this in Philly, DC, New York, Atlanta, LA, wherever... Openly displaying same sex affection like that in my conservative, judgmental, one-horse town community? Wow.

All right y'all. I tip my hat. Yeah, I'm gonna hold on to that small moment all day.

Thank you gentlemen,
-Ian

Remember...

Fly Above Negativity

So what's crackin'? Praise the Heavens! I'm back on my laptop. For the past few days I've been using my Blackberry to write blog posts because I was too cheap to pay for wireless in my hotel room. For the remainder of my trip I'll be visiting with locals here in Vegas/LA so I can use their wi-fi service.

I really don't feel like leaving Tuesday, dammit. Why is it once I get to Pacific time its always time to return home???

So ole Ian been going through it the last few days. Feelin' a bit inadequate not only in the circle of his peers, but in the glory (or the lack their of) life. Something is missing, again. For awhile I thought I'd found it. I was riding momentum but now that's gone the empty space leaves me wanting. Sometimes it's hard when your less than stellar in a crowd of folk who fly. I haven't felt loved, which is strange here cause you're constantly surrounded by people. There's been several faux paxs, humiliation to the Nth degree. A friend, (actually, the gentleman in the picture to the left. Mama always said give credit where credit is due. Buy Jamal's book while you're at it! ) recommended owning the situation, then moving on. Old habits die hard. But I'm making the effort...

I could use a good shoulder to cry on, but I refuse. For once, maybe not once OK, I'm going to pull it together and try. Use all the tools and resources I know are at my disposal, attempt to make the best of what I have. Hey, for what he's worth, Pharaoh is across the room. He's jammin' out to some music, but he's always willin' to listen when I need his ear. His brotherly love is enough to tell my crazy ass the truth, unlike other people I often surround myself, so best align myself with the truth, the fabulous, and the Divine. Yes, I'm leaving, but I'll be back. This is my resolve. And when I'll be back, I'll be a stronger brutha...

Blurt It Out

You cannot hide your true emotions now, even if you try. It's like they are posted on your forehead and everyone can see exactly how you are feeling. But still, your sudden emotional outburst may surprise others. You feel it coming and know that it will encourage someone else to express his or her feelings, too....

Sometimes though, you just got to say what the fuck, and jus' do it!

For a friend who spoke up when they needed to the most.

Hm, Him So Handsome...

This morning on the drive to work I caught myself gawking at a beautiful guy standing outside the barbershop on the corner. I don't know why he was so captivating, he was just distracted me so. Perhaps because I've been struggling with self and a tad lonely something latched on to this Adonis hanging at The BMCC, but all I know is my mood today has been rather downplayed.

It's strange for me sometimes when I see visions of everything want/wanted to be in life... The perfect body, vibe, swagga, aura, whatever...I often am caught astounded by how I came to be in my own set of circumstances while others have seemingly progressed and achieved poise, grace, and all that jazz. It goes beyond sexuality for I often quite feel there's a place among my gay brethren as well. So happened?

Catching up with recent posts Pharaoh and UrsoVain wrote got me pondering about the great big game we're all playing; whether it's to find a mate or just make social acquaintances, you gotta have skills to fit right with the other players. Admittedly, I don't often know the rules! I guess that's the nature of life and I need to accept it, but it still doesn't make it right.

Perhaps Darwin was right after all? Survival of the fittest, eh? Hm, guess l'm losing fast...for now.