Adventures In Gay

Here's a cute little comic someone posted in my timeline on Facebook. The link is within the comic. Go check 'em out. It's adorable at time, yet poignant. Kudos!

This Is Beautiful

This truly, brought a tear to my ear. I'm happy this young person has loving, caring, and accepting parents.... Awesome.

Malcolm Had Forsight

While I'm sure Malcolm wasn't applying this thought to the struggle for gay marriage, other denied rights for same sex couples and a host of other current events, I'm gonna make the stretch and draw a connection. If I can. Briefly. I know I can get wordy...

We still have no trial date for Trayvon Martin's accused murderer, yet taxpayer's dollars are endlessly being spent on the Jodi Arias foolishness.... I believe in proper jurisprudence, but please. Her convenient memory loss screams this chick is maniacal, conniving, lying, and best of all, guilty of premeditated murder.When is George Zimmerman going to have his day in court?

Spending, cuts, and bipartisan banter back and forth. Lord, when I heard Sen. Rand Paul stood on the floor for 12 hours ranting about some unrelated issue purposely filibustering the confirmation for the new CIA Director, I laughed. Really? You know you effed up when John McCain and Lindsey Graham snub you off in your own party.

As CNN is fond of saying,  this is another example of Government kicking the can down the road. Ugh. Can we talk about real issues? Like employment, social security, domestic programs being cut, my DECREASING paycheck and INCREASING bills! Really? What's wrong America?

Wrong is indeed, wrong. Priorities have become misguided or neglected entirely. Have we lost our way? Can we get back on the path? In the 40 + years since Malcolm spoke these word, our country has made tremendous progress, so at times, but still progress. Now with so many issues in the news, I feel we're regressing. I don't understand. Someone explain....

Adam Levine

I'll admit, I'm not the biggest Maroon 5 fan. However, I do lke the words, actions, and deeds from
 front man Adam Levine. Caught the blurb above posted on Tumblr. I laughed and had to smile. Adam is correct. Mainstream marriages crash and burn so quickly, but no one ever worries about divorce rate affecting the "holy institution." I digress.

I'm now following Adam's Twitter. I hope he continues to advocate for the Community, if you can loosely call us 'children' a community. That's a topic for another post...

Kudos, Adam!

Till Death Us Do Part

Big D and I are nowhere near marriage in our relationship. Shoot! We're not necessary in a committed or exclusive sitch yet (I'm still seeing someone else on the regular). A part of me has given thought to getting married again. I was married in my mid 30s and kinda naive as to the expectations. Plus, I was still dancing around my issues, so the union was doomed from the beginning.

Pennsylvania will probably be one of the last states to legalize gay marriage, but with surrounding states like New York, New Jersey, and Maryland, I could jump the broom over state lines. It's something to ponder.

Yeah, I do dream of consistency. The house with the cliche picket (why it gotta be white?!?! LOL) fence, living in suburbia with my husband (or call me crazy, maybe wife?), the 2.5 kids, dog, and cat. But where are we going with the issue?

I've had multiple conversation with my friends, both gay and straight, on the subject. All agree its waaaaaaay past time for all 50 States in the Union to legalize the sanction between same sex couples. The reality, however, is I think between the Southern states and the conversatative Midwestern states,  Hell will descend upon the Earth, and they'll go down kicking and screaming until Captain Kirk saves us from Khan. Meaning, those states...frakk, mine too, are years if not decades away from any same sex legislature being approved.

Still, we fight the good fight. I might not get married to Darryl, but I want the right that if  reach that decision, we can. I want that opportunity here at home. Why should I run to some other state or Commonwealth for recognition, eh?

Without Sin

Yes! Preach!

As someone who has struggled with reconciling faith and sexuality, I'm glad that this meme is floating out there on the Interwebs for youth (and some adults) to see. I've long ago come to terms with myself...maybe not so much with my faith, but at least myself. It all goes back to a Perfect Creator. If the Perfect Universal Being exists, which I firmly believe, one that has foreknowledge of every outcome, person's destiny, why would He (in my belief) allow for beings to be created only for torment? It makes no sense.

Besides, examine other things people could/couldn't do in the Old Testament days.... men shave or cut their hair, women have their menses anywhere in the village, masturbate, sell their daughters into slavery...on and on. No. I think the Old Testament was a guide of law until the fulfillment of Christ's coming.

I don't have the time to go into this deeper, because I'm so running late for work. But I'll finish my train of thought later. Sorry for the craptacular post. LOL. There is supposed to be an inspiration message. Hope you got it.

Keep Calm

Well said, indeed. You know, the old saying goes "Nothing worth having comes easy." So true. Life can be a (taylor) swift kick in crotch some days. Lord have mercy, He knows it can. But as I'm continuing to learn, the more the adversity, sometimes the better the person you become...the stronger and more wiser you become.

It may take time. I'm in my 40s and still coming into my own. And you know what? That's all right, I'm a long way from where I was, where I've been, and can honestly without hesitation say I love myself. PERIOD. I'm proud of the man I am. Ian has no problem telling haterz where to go if they get in my way. For every ig'nant person, there are two (or three, four, or MORE) angels, ready to rally for my cause!! I know who's got my back!

As I told friends at a recent gathering, I cherish each hardship, struggle, tear, what-have-you, because I'm better today. Yeah, I have my self-doubt moments, but that's OK. Ain't nobody perfect, right? So I love myself absolutely. I'm so worth it!

As for you? Do you, be you! Love yourself too.
-Ian

True Dat

Didja Her'd?

And that is your Public Service Announcement for the day. Skkkkkeeert! Didja heard?

The Body Beautiful

I'm learning to love it....

He-Man + She-Ra= Gay?

Hm. For any fan of either He-Man and She-Ra, you gotta watch Nostalgia Chick's analysis of this classic 80s cartoon. First, you'll last yourself silly. Second, it'll definitely change your perspective to an extent. I loved this. You can find more commentary from Nostalgia Chick here.

Zach Wahls Speaks About Family

This little clip has been all over Facebook and blogs for the last week. It wasn't until today I sat down and watch it completely through. I was utterly amazed this young man's presence and passion. Kudos Zach!

The Door Has Always Been...Well, Open.

I suppose I shouldn't let National Coming Out Day go by with out addressing a lil something on the topic. Really, for yours truly, I don't suppose there has been any special day I officially came out, I just have been.

Coming into acceptance has been the most interesting journey. I have my good days; I have my bad. I guess everything got especially interesting after I got divorced and declared myself free from the monotony of the life I had been living. My ex-wife knew. I was doing the bi thang at the time, but I guess for me, it was inevitable I would end up where I am now.

My divorce was almost ten years ago now. Since then, well life has been interesting. It has been easy because oft I feel like the proverbial fish out of water, but I also realize I make my own life so complicated. Huh. Silly middle-aged man that I am. LOL. But I'm glad for what has come and experiences. The heartache, the joy, and friends made... yes. I will say it is worth it.

I think if memory does serve me right, the first time I acknowledged my sexuality to someone was in seventh grade to this geeky little white dude. To say it was a mistake would be wrong, it just put me on a path that looking back, I find amusing. A few years went by before opened myself up again and started telling friends in college. I've always been a lil "off," so I would expect most folk figured out the real deal. Mind you, I was sexually abused, so life was filled with complexities and stupid delusions. I realize too I had some resources at my disposal I chose not to use that COULD have made life so much simpler, but because I was too ignorant, too caught up with what someone would think, I never utilized the gifts in front of me to their full potential.

Twenty years later, I do give blessing and praises to friends, family, and "family" that were so patience with this crazy man until I got my act together. My ex-wife is my best friend and is my strongest ally. To say that I wouldn't have made it this far without her is a huge understatement. So something productive did come out our marriage...I'm still on the road to discovery. I often chide myself that I make a horrible gay man, but at least I'm trying to live my truth. It's definitely better than living a lie. Amen.

In Love & Hope,
-Ian

Any way the wind blows

Last week wasn't a good week. I'd almost say it was one of the worst for me. Things lately have been cropping up that I don't understand or am at a loss for explanation. I find myself confused and demystified by life and wondering where my place is in the grand cosmic scheme of things. Perhaps its a moment of mid-life crisis, but it feels isolating. Very lonely.I'm trying to focus on the positive aspects I have going on, but which each positive a thousand negatives rise from the depths of my memory and past and all I feel is a profound sense of shame. What's going on?

I'm not sure what triggered it, but I have some clue as to the solution. The solutions cuts to the core of who I am, or at least think I am, and I realize I need to do some soul searching. Then again, I also believe I know where the restlessness started...an innocence delving into fortune telling. A simple question returned by a very complex answer. I didn't like the answer. Perhaps that's why folks should stay away from the Tarot. Sometimes the answers you seek aren't meant to be revealed all at once. I know I'm rambling, but too is on my mind...

WCP: (Interlude) Good & Bad Hair!

There's a side story to this, from the trip, I may or may not write about...

West Coas Perspective: (Prelude) Fear

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Remember...

Seduction, Relations, & The Magnificent Dream

Good googly moogly!?!?! When the Hell did Pennsylvania become Seattle? The entire month thus far has been rain, rain, and more rain. I'm grateful for it, but dang... Can get a couple days of God's light from above? LOL.

Fortunately, I've been attempting to create my own sunshine. Been hollarin' at a guy for a lil bit now. Each time we talk, I become more interested. Unfortunately, I'm not reading him well just yet. He might be interested??? Not entirely sure; never been one to pick on subtle cues and gestures. The whole mating dance ritual makes me stumble and fumble. If you think my gay Spidey sense is bad, my pickin' up on peeps feelin' on me is worse. Sometimes you gotta hit me over the head and say, "Ian, I like you. Do you like me?" I'm so naive. So juvenile! Like I say constantly folks, I really do make a bad homo! LOL. When y'all gonna hand me the pink slip?

Never fear though. After a while, I do buy a clue. Hehehe. And to be sure (my catch phrase) this guy has me thinking about possibilities. Mr. X is cute, honestly sexy, closer to my age then my previous fella, he makes me think, and laugh. Not to put the apple cart before the horse, but I'm reminded of my Someone To Do You Right post over on MALE. While I don't know him all like that yet, what I do know is he intrigues me. He gives me pause. Mr. X is funny, has a delicious inviting smile, intelligent, and upwardly mobile. He can be a lil quiet and reserved, but he has a head on his shoulders. Did I mention he's cute?

Chile, I ain't got no damn time to "catch the vapors," as Toddy would say, but huh! I'm really feelin' this brother somethin' good. And I really need someone stable who gets me. Somebody who edifies and accentuates, not detracts. Somebody who can challenge me when I get in my snits. Encourage me when I am doubtful. Celebrate when I am triumphant. Isn't that we all want? Please Lord, I'm searching. Don' need no more drama! I'm not asking for forever (although that would be nice) yet I don't need anymore half-assed, trifflin, half hour workers on my 9-5 clock.

N-t-way....since I got in trouble for my morning message yesterday, decided not to use my words for the morning inspiration. Here's a reposted email I received from Jared (with his incredibly phine self! Now talk about cute, hmph!) today entitled Magnificent Dreams:

"What a shame it would be for your best dreams to go to waste. Do the work to make them real and you'll find great fulfillment along the way. Those things you love with all your heart are the most valuable things you have to offer. Truly make the world a more beautiful place by bringing your innermost desires to life. Even the smallest acts have great power when they are sincere. When your efforts come directly from who you truly are, they always make a difference. The world is filled with noise and confusion. But it does not ever have to distract you from what means the most to you. Again and again, connect with those real and lasting values. When times are good, and when times are tough, they will always serve you well. Your life is a beautiful and precious thing. Live the beauty, live the value, and live the substance of your most magnificent dreams."

-- Ralph Marston

In The Mix.

First, let me say this, God is Good. God is Good in all things! Do ya hear me? Say it again. God is good in all the things. Let the Church now say amen. Amen.

OK. That's said. Happy Monday Brothers. Sisters. I hope you woke today refreshed and encouraged to get through another work week with renewed vigor and purpose. Last night I had to chase away some nasty blue attitudes, but by Mercy's light, the sun is, literally, still shining today. And wasn't that just a blessing in itself? Shoot. After all the rain last week, I thought maybe it was time to build and ark or something?!?! LOL.

Now, to be sure, my spirit is going through some changes this morning. Not negative, but positive. The inspiration bug has latched on and I'm jus' feelin' it a little. So much that I can achieve and work on. goals and direction are coming back. I'm not looking to do big things, but the little things that someone else can do to build bigger things. Yes.

But now you know every Garden of Eden has its serpent, and mine is slithering with temptation a plenty. Oh it's whispering doubt, fear, shame, blah blah blah, but I'm not listening. I need to work through it to be where I needs to be.... Got some thought running amok in my head, will post those later this afternoon, but for now I wanted to spread the good word to you. Get out there and get into the mix today!

Love ya!
-Ian

MED Thoughts on "44" (Thanks, Rippa!)

I saw this over on Rippa's blog, and I give brother full credit for his post! Please be sure to review the original article on The Intersection Of Madness And Reality. I'm re-posting here because it got this brutha to think and this certainly is a must v-cast for any Barack Obama supporter/advocate. Wanted to give others the opportunity to reflect and respond on Michael Eric Dyson's thoughts as well...

Do you agree or disagree with Dr. Dyson? Read my comment and response to Rippa below after viewing the clip.

"Wow! I was really ready to throw down and defend Mister "44," who I love and respect no matter what the staunchest critics say about him, but Dr. Dyson was dead on. Unfortunately, Dr. D speaks the truth, really, that to the older generations, having a black president may not matter! Washington is just a hot bed of game,contention, and mess. Pander to my neighbor so I can get what I need for my constituents or my own self interests. I'm not saying the President isn't a good man or without altruistic intentions, but let's accept there's going to be issues he'll sidetrack, back peddle, and perhaps, completely overlook for a time, until he's comfortable with the impact he's made on the majority (translation white people).

The President has to straddle a difficult fence. I don't envy him, but again, I agree with Dr. Dyson Black people shouldn't give him a "free pass." He needs to be held accountable. Believe me, as a gay black man, I'm watching and hearing the rumblings the Gay Community is having with Obama for not fulfilling his promise to LGBTQ community over DADT (Don't Ask, Don't Tell) and other equal rights for gays. They/we're certainly are holding him up to his word. They/we are demanding he honor his obligation he campaigned.

Should certain issues be sacrificed for the time being? Which issues need to go first? Does a lack to act firmly on minority issues mean "44' has forgotten about us? I don't think so. He has so much on his plate, but I think Obama wants to reach out universally, not to just one community or the other, which means some in the minority (issues) will get overlooked. Is it right? Hell, no. But it's P-O-L-I-T-I-C-S!

Here's a personal question I need to ask. As someone who understands what it's like to be multiracial, how is the whole matter of race, ethnicity, and identity seen by the POTUS? For himself? I've seen interviews. Does he relate as an American? Or does he HAVE TO because we've given Obama the "Black" label, strictly identify as Black (or African American in the truest sense)? We all know he's biracial, "mixed" as we used to say, but grew up in a different set of circumstances than your average African American. I wonder...

Now we've heard the jokes...when the President makes a mistake or slights Black folk, blame it on his "White" half. Is it fair that we hold him to a standard that he has to be 100% in our corner? Honestly? I wanna say he should because if he didn't have the labels in front of his name...Professor, Senator, Mr. President...you know the racists would just see him as another "n" word. I don't know. America speaks with forked tongue no matter what the community, what the ethnic group, we all expect something from this President that he may or may not be able to achieve.

I accept that he'll need to not offend white people, who to be sure, many will accuse him of giving hand outs and freebies to "us" (Black folk) just because of his race. HOWEVER... like Dr Dyson indicated, each of the 43 Presidents preceding Mr. Obama looked out for their "own people," it just wasn't necessarily said because they were of the "majority." And Mr. Obama wants a second term. What President hasn't? So he's gotta play the game, back peddle in some areas, to insure he doesn't offend and hurt feelings to hinder a second term. Is this right? No, but is the nature of the beast. That's why I hate Politics. Ultimately, no matter who the politician, their best intentions, isn't it all about personal gain and legacy?"