So what's crackin'? Praise the Heavens! I'm back on my laptop. For the past few days I've been using my Blackberry to write blog posts because I was too cheap to pay for wireless in my hotel room. For the remainder of my trip I'll be visiting with locals here in Vegas/LA so I can use their wi-fi service.
I really don't feel like leaving Tuesday, dammit. Why is it once I get to Pacific time its always time to return home???
So ole Ian been going through it the last few days. Feelin' a bit inadequate not only in the circle of his peers, but in the glory (or the lack their of) life. Something is missing, again. For awhile I thought I'd found it. I was riding momentum but now that's gone the empty space leaves me wanting. Sometimes it's hard when your less than stellar in a crowd of folk who fly. I haven't felt loved, which is strange here cause you're constantly surrounded by people. There's been several faux paxs, humiliation to the Nth degree. A friend, (actually, the gentleman in the picture to the left. Mama always said give credit where credit is due. Buy Jamal's book while you're at it! ) recommended owning the situation, then moving on. Old habits die hard. But I'm making the effort...
I could use a good shoulder to cry on, but I refuse. For once, maybe not once OK, I'm going to pull it together and try. Use all the tools and resources I know are at my disposal, attempt to make the best of what I have. Hey, for what he's worth, Pharaoh is across the room. He's jammin' out to some music, but he's always willin' to listen when I need his ear. His brotherly love is enough to tell my crazy ass the truth, unlike other people I often surround myself, so best align myself with the truth, the fabulous, and the Divine. Yes, I'm leaving, but I'll be back. This is my resolve. And when I'll be back, I'll be a stronger brutha...
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