ChChChChanges...

Sometimes just wanting something is not enough

It's Not Sanjaya: American Idol: Top 10 Results

Another contestant bites the dust. And so Chris Bligh goes home tonight.

I'm not surprised nor disappointed. Something about Chris bothered me. It wasn't his weight or the hair (although dude seriously needs a new 'do). No, none of those issues bugged me. Perhaps it was his family background or his ultra conservative religious beliefs. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking Christianity or Christian values, but he had the definite makings of a "Bible Banger" and I read somewhere his hometown was disappointed because he wasn't singing more Christian tunes.

OK, let me get this straight? You're disappointed because he goes on a show named American Idol and he's singing contemporary popular music? The show is based on the British television show called Pop Idol (just about every country has some version of Idol, so American Idol is not unique.) What did they think he was going to do? Sing Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, or Sandi Patti songs all season long???

Overall, singing this week was mild, bland, and at best, boring. Why they liked Jordin's attempt, I'll never know. Even Melinda was not at her game, although Keisha kicked ass. She was workin' them boots. Go Keisa! My favorite performance was Gina by far. Tonight's show was more promising. Loved Gwen Stefani and Akon's performance, perhaps due to them being in the business longer. If Gwen's tour comes to the Giant Center, Bryce Jordan Center, or even to the Wachovia Center, I'm considering purchasing tickets. I know Miss T or Leeser would go with me. Up for a road trip ladies???

Did Ryan give something away about the vote before the one commercial break?

"Haley, you need to stand here for just another moment...."

Hmmm. I caught that. I have to admit I'm starting to like Haley, she's just not the best performer. With one exception, the people in the bottom three belonged there. I'm satisfied Chris and Haley were, but come on now. Please, why, oh why is Sanjaya hanging on?

In the local paper a little feature scribed on last week's ousted contestant Stephanie Edwards and the hubbub over her exiting and not Sanjaya. To sum up, while Stephanie didn't deserve early departure, it says she would've eventually. She's a good singer, but has a "Beyonce" feel to her tunes. I'm not sure if I agree or not.

On Yahoo News, a blurb discussed Sanjaya's following and reasons why he's still around. Sanjaya's choir director and family have more credibility in him than most. The choir director identified how he's has better potential and hasn't tapped into his true talent. Supposedly, his "heart" isn't on stage at moment. Could it be Sanjaya has the potential to be a better crooner? Amongst his current peers, I don't think so. He's no match.

The boy has balls, I'll give him that much credit. His "faux-hawk" was over the top and for him to stand up there each week, rendering weak renditions of songs, takes chutzpah! Still, he's just a 17 year boy. There's an innocence about him (that's a little odd, but we all had that phase, didn't we? Us, meaning all the little 'mo men running around). Given time he could be a fierce (pronounced "FEARS!" very over emphasized) competitor with hard work and dedication. He already has the stage presence. Unlike past underdogs, don't think after the season is over we've heard the last from Sanjaya.

Your Body, Myself Discovery

Since coming to terms with self-acceptance as being a Same Gender Loving Black man, I'm catching up for lost time devouring any and every image of svelte sexuality of the male of color. The process is good for me because it helps to keep my self-esteem on track. I still have many journeys to travel, but I believe my footing is in the right place for now.

Its All About the Game?

Almost. Is life a game. is something we have conqueror or something to go with the flow and enjoy. I'm in a quandry with my current events and I'm not sure what my future will hold. The search needs to be expanded. The dreams need to be enforced. The ramble and the rubble place on the corner for the sanitation man.

A motion of events has started. Something I don't think I will be able to deal with once the ramifications come to light. This post is a bit cryptic but I'm not ready to speak on the situation until I have all my facts and evidence to present.

More in the days ahead. And yes. I does involve Mister Napoleon, but only to small degree. I'm not worried about him. Its something deeper...

Battlestar Galactica Season Finale

I'll admit it, I cheated. Last week I was able to find a spoiler blog that gave away the results to tonight's episode. I was not shocked or surprised by the season finale, only a little disappointed. I'm not disappointed by the fact I caught wind of details before the airing, contrarily, I'm disappointed in the writing of the episode. The spoiler site was dead on. OK, so they reveal four of the final five Cylons to be Chief Tyrol, Colonel Tigh, Tory, and Anders, but only one makes sense being a Cylon, which to me is Colonel Tigh. And what about the fifth Cylon? Is it Baltar? Is it President Rosalyn (probably couldn't be her because she's diagnosed with breast cancer. Can a Cylon develop cancer?) How the frak (using the lexicon from the show) did Chief Galen Tyrol have a child if he was a Cylon? Plus he has vivid memories of his parents? Anders, who was rescued by Starbuck from Caprica, was not event among the refugees from the Cylon attack.

I'm also waiting for an explanation why the Caprica Six Cylon sees Baltar's illusionary version like Baltar sees hers. Baltar has some deeper connection to the Cylon process than the show's writers are letting on. And Starbuck found Earth. OK, that's fine. Even the original series eventually made it to Earth (anyone remember the hideous Galactica 1980?) What happens once the fleet reaches Earth? What'll happen to the Cylons? Last question is what was with that pan out at the end of the show before the credits. I know the very last scene was Earth, but was the show trying to hint at the whole gods/God concept? The Colonials believe in a pan-theistic system, whereas the Cylons believe in the one true God. Too much religious conjecture! Next season will have to do some heavy duty explaining.

Sorry for my science-fiction geek moment, but Battlestar Galactica is one of the few television shows I take time to watch and enjoy. I limit myself to tepid forms of visual entertainment and I'm sick of reality TV (with the exception to American Idol). Galactica feeds my inner futuristic child. If anyone is a regular viewer of BSG, please email me or leave a comment on what you thought of tonight's episode.

"Why I Hate Black People"

So I was browsing several blogs yesterday morning and came across this posting. Well, immediately it caught my eye. It's a little snippet about some writer who apparently had to express his disdain for people of color in our country. Oh and he's of Asian descent. Ooh Nelly, what can of worms just opened?

I'm surprised I hadn't seen or heard about this before. The blog post was from February and the original column ran February 23rd. I won't rehashing the article, you can take the time to read it. In a way, I'm not surprised by the blatant racism, but I am too. I will be the first to admit Asians and African Americans don't necessarily see eye to eye all the time. Much of it has to do with the urban centers where Asian have a tendency to own shops in the African American community.

Some Asian business owners, not all, have taken on the air of distrust and abuse. Growing up there was a store on the corner from my home owned by a Vietnamese-American family. While I never had a problem when I went into the store, I know many of the neighborhood children were confronted by racism and discrimination: only two children allowed in store at a time, being asked to empty their pockets before entering and upon leaving the store, being followed while browsing the aisles for sweet treats....it was obvious. Not many whites lived in my neighborhood as a child, but those who did, never went through this treatment.

Historically, Black people may have been distrustful of Asians simply because we experienced similar discrimination from other groups. Plus given the fact Asians are a minority in this country too, the assumption goes one group in a parallel social status would not disenfranchise another. Wrong. Despite the fact I believe people of all colors are equal, lets call a spade a spade (perhaps not the best colloquialism here, LOL). African Americans are always looked upon as the bottom of the social caste system in the US.

Getting back to the author's assertions, I understand how hurtful it must be to be constantly made fun of because of how you speak, appear, and act. Asian jokes are worse than bad black jokes. However, its a slippery slope to over generalize as he did in his piece that all Blacks are uneducated, ignorant, impoverished folk, that have nothing to do but make fun of Asians. It's a bit ignorant for him to believe that out the hundreds of thousands of African descendants residing the distance between NYC and LA, NOLA to Seattle, all hate Asians. Where the problems truly lies is the amount of distrust that has developed between our communities and the inability to reach out and walk in another cultural man's shoes.

I won't disagree with some of his convictions. There are those amongst my community that truly wish to wallow in the muck, never rising above their misfortunes and are weak-willed, but then again, doesn't every culture have those you have to shake your head at and go "Mmmph mmmph mmmph?" How many people of color have risen above their more than humble upbringings to be more than where they came from? Country folk from rural areas, surpassing the harshest conditions? People like Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, etc etc, for example. The lie must not be placed upon us because our skin is darker than yours Mister Eng.

Scuttlebutt and Hurdles

The exhilaration of Friday comes to those who are patient enough to wait. Unfortunately by time I can personally savor and digest Fridays, it usually is Sunday evening and it's time to prep to start the whole damn process all over again.

It's been a hellacious week and I'm reaching the end of my patience with my job. It's the same monotony day after day and more often I question myself "Is this what I went to college for, to be a phone jockey?" I used to love my job until the Powers that Be decided to ship us off to the shores of a for-profit empire that could careless about providing service, only accumulating more paper. Yours truly is frustrated and stuck in a rut. I want to exceed in my career choice, but the work has become a tedious nightmare of repetition and shallow ignorance from the population I attempt to serve.

Rant, rant, rant. Working has become an exercise of self-degradation! All day long I listen to people who've elected political officials that put them into the predicament they're trying to escape, complaining about the lack of services for the common person. Ah, there's something to be said about most people. Have we become a society that mindlessly, like sheep, follows shepherds of the mogul-owned media and Washington politicos without questioning the facts? Does anyone give thought their plight is perhaps a creation of their own making??? The Conservatives are brainwashing people to believe propaganda. The so-called mentors are teaching lies. Somewhere in the process, the system has failed all of us.

For myself, I'm in the process of enlightenment, seeking my escape from cubical Hell. I need to separate myself from my current vocational lease and obtain better employment, serving the public at hand without expecting reparation, without profiting from the masses to fill and line pockets with undeserved wealth. Retooling my resume, I plan to expedite my search in the coming weeks. What's difficult is I don't know what I want to do. I'd like an employer that offers good benefits. I don't mind paying for my health insurance as long as the benefits are useful and don't leave me in debt for services it will not provide. Perhaps in my next vocational opportunity, I'll have one that values its employees and not expect my life to placed at risk for a "dirty quarter" in the guise of helping the community.

Perhaps the next employer will know "all purpose leave" is not an adequate form of compensation. They'll offer both sick vacation and sick paid time off. Use of it will not require going through a daunting task of scheduling months in advance for a sick leave day. Perchance, fortunate will bless me to work for a service competent in knowledge of human bodily functions and'll grant dispensation to use the toilet when I have to take a piss! A good employer knows a good employee is a happy employee. No more mind tolling eight hours, dealing with 2300 complaints an hour. Human services and quotas are an oxymoron.

Through it all, though, I'm grateful I have a job. I am. Mentally, my spirit requires respite and a mental health month, forget about a mental health day. Yes, it's a a sign o' the times, but eventually something good is produced from every negative situation. View it as not crushing the masses under the corporate boot heel in order to earn a penny. Therein, the future always, always, has to hold promise or else why go on?

American Idol: The Top 11

I wasn't surprised Stephanie was voted off American Idol tonight. I'd actually made the prediction today at work that she'd be the one going home. Here is my reasoning. Lakeisha and Melinda are two of the strongest contestants right now. I would think Idol would sway the vote at this point in the competition if either them entered in the bottom two. Jordin is actually a decent singer, so she must have commanded enough votes.

Sanjaya, Phil, Gina, Blake, and Chris have a large fan base. I'm sure their fans were out en mass to make sure they stayed in the game. Chris has the "religious right" fan base on his side. Haley had the "hoochie" factor on her side this week, therefore Stephanie had to be one exiting the show. I'm disgusted with the show, but it is a popularity contest until the very end so I'll keep watching. I'm annoyed because Stephanie showed promise. Sure she fucked up that song last night, which is one of my favorite songs, but she didn't deserve to go home.

And please, why, oh why, won't they stop showing that annoying little girl crying all over the place?!?! Enough Already!

A Brand New Day

It's a brand new day. Let's Rejoyce. More info later...

Gay Man Quiz

The Gay Man's Survey

1. What is the first thing you notice about the same sex?
The overall appearance first, then I focus in on his eyes. The eyes always have story to tell.

2. Which male celebrity would you want as a love slave?
I'm not sure, there are too many to choose from.

3. Gift card winner at work!...which store do you reach for?
Kohl's, Target, Wal-mart, or Borders...any of those would do me good.

4. Admit it, are you a size queen?
I'm not. I don't really care, just as long as it's visible. It's what he does with it that is important. If the guy has an overall "pow" body, he can make up for any shortcomings. Sometimes short is a good thing.

5. What store do you base your fashion sense on?
I have my own style. I'm not into trendy shopping, I dress for what is comfortable.

6. If you could improve gay pride, what would you improve?
Unity.

7. Have you marched in a gay pride parade?
No.

8. Honestly, how many times do you go to the gym?
I need to start going on a regular basis.

9. Honestly, how many nights do you go out with the boys?
I haven't gone out in a while. I need to jump start my social activities again.

10. How long was your last relationship?
My last relationship that wasn't a "few days" stand? Hmm. Probably three months.

11. What would you do the moment gay marriage is approved by voters?
If it ever happens, which it won't because gay people are still considered second-class citizens, I'd go out and celebrate.

13. Where would you want to have your gay wedding?
At the beach.

14. Who do you want to be there?
My closest friends. Unfortunately I'm not out to my family yet. Perhaps this will be the year.

15. What kind of food/ who would cater your gay wedding ?
Possibly Sylvia Woods, Paula Dean or Ina Garten to cater the event. I'd love Paula's or Sylvia's southern cuisine.

16. Who is your diva?
Hmm...lately I'd have to say Jennifer Hudson. I used to love Mariah until she got too ghetto fabulous, LOL!

17. Which type of gay man do you avoid?
Self-centered liars and arrogant pretty boys.

18. What qualities do you look for in a man?
Someone who can make me laugh, support me when I cry, and knows how to enjoy himself.
Looks-wise, he doesn't have to be perfect or meet the world's standard of beauty, just be damned sexy in my eyes.

19. What exotic gay locale would you travel to?
I'm not into going to "exclusively gay" places, but I like to go to gay friendly areas. I really would like to visit Paris though. I'm not sure how exotic that is.

20. What song are you tired of hearing?
Anything by KT Tungstall.

21. Which club/bar in your gay neighborhood do you wish would just close down because its so tired?
All the bars/clubs in Central PA are in need of a jump start, but there all we have so I won't complain.

22. Admit it, have you gone thru a vegetarian/vegan phase?
No, I'm sorry but I go through hamburger withdraw so bad people swear I'm a junkie.

23. Which restaurant/type of restaurant would you take a date?
Sushi or Thai. Perhaps even seafood. There are a few places I have in mind for a nice romantic date like Alfred's Victorian in Middletown, Al Mediterraneo in Hummelstown, or Trattoria Fratelli in Lebanon, none of which serve sushi or Thai. I guess the Blue Pacific in Lancaster would be good for sushi.

24. How much can you bench?
uhhh....

25. What one part of the male anatomy always get your attention?
His ass, his lips, his arms...and yes, the package!

26. Whole Foods or Bristol Farms??
What's the difference?

27. Do you donate clothes you don't use anymore?
Yeah, I do.

28. What do you think of Paris Hilton's new singing career?
She's fly by night...what happened to her single? That was a few months ago.

29. Did you know Godiva Chocolates contain preservatives?
Who cares? It tastes good and most foods contain preservatives anymore.

30. What would you rather watch, hot boys laying out, hot boys playing volleyball or hot boys washing cars?
Hot boys playing volleyball. I've seen the guy's at Triangle washing cars and none of them are hot.

31. Do you go return to work late from your 10 minute break?
First of all, if I get a break, you better damn believe I better have my leash back on at 9 minutes and 59 seconds....lateness will not be tolerated and the watch dog will be on the hunt for anyone who's 1 second late dammit!

32. Where do you want to have your dream house?
More and more, I'm thinking in Phoenix or possibly a beach front property in New Jersey, Cape May, possibly?

33. Whats your favorite cologne?
Calvin Klein One Summer.

34. Whats your favorite cologne on him?
I don't care as long as he smells good.

35. Have you worn red to a gay day at an amusement park?
No.

36. What are your favorite TV shows?
Sci-Fi Channel's Battlestar Galactica. All my other shows are now in syndication or cancelled: Sex and the City, Six Feet Under, Noah's Arc.

37. Admit it, which TV DVD collection do you own?
None, but see the answers for question 36 for the ones I want.

39. Admit it, did you ever have a sugar daddy?
Searching for one currently, LOL. No never.

40. What is the drink you always order at the club/bar?
I usually get beer because it's cheap. "Mr Napoleon" and I, when he pays, do snakebites and lemon drops. About twenty in a row!

41. Finish the sentence...when I go to a house party, I avoid....
looking anyone in the eye, I'm pretty shy.

42. What embarrassing moment are you constantly reminded of?
oh god, there is a song I sang for my high school baccalaureate I'll hear every now and again on the muzak station that sends shivers up my spine...ugh I was so nervous and rushed through the song. It still brings back horrible memories 20 years later.

43. What does your last text message say?
"Cramps. stayed home today."

44. Admit it, which fast food restaurant lures you each and every time?
When I'm Uptown (Midtown?), Popeye's Chicken.

45. Your date just scored tickets...which singer/performer do you hope they are?
Jill Scott, Lenny Kravitz, or John Legend.

46. Admit it, do you lie about your age?
No, in fact, I remind people of it all too often.

47. What is your favorite sex position?
Would you really want to know? I didn't think so...

48. What movie, in theatres right now, would you take a date?
300

49. What movie, in theatres now, would you NOT take a date?
I don't know. What other movies are out there?

50. You're the tour guide...where would you take an out-of-towner who is unfamiliar with your
city?
Depends on the tourist and time of year. There's absolutely nothing to do of interest in Central Pa that is worthwhile for gay men. I'd probably do the two hour drive back home and show 'em Philly instead. For anyone else, the Project at Middlecreek, Gettysburg Battlefield, the Pinnacle in Holtzwood, Riverfront park downtown, Fort Hunter Uptown, City Island, the State Museum, or Hershey Park for anyone else during the spring and summer.

It's A Follicle Thing

It's a follicle thing, you wouldn't understand.

Stuck In a Phase

I'm not sure what's going on inside emotionally, but my spirits seem low this evening. I'm not sure why, I've talked to several close friends and family members, discussed future epochs about to be taken, and enjoyed a laugh or two. Still, my energy levels have dropped and I find myself in a dark place where I feel isolated and alone. Perhaps thoughts of Napoleon are too close the surface causing all my turmoil? Hell, it could be the the beef deprivation I'm going through this Lenten season (I gave up frequenting and eating from fast food restaurants and all I can think about tonight is HAMBURGER).


This morning was difficult rising out of sedentary weekend. My weekend excitement culminated in cleaning the snow off my car on Saturday. Woo-Hoo! As much as I anticipated going out Saturday night, plans fell through and I sat at home pondering the thread count in my bedsheets instead. Exciting, huh? This morning I got up to serve at the local prison, translation: my job and begun the mundane routine that is the work week. I feel trapped in myself and in my vocation. I feel lost and a bit destitute with my insignificant romance situation. In any situation, I need to get rest. Perhaps with a few decent hours sleep, I awake refreshed, recharged, and rejuvenated. Or I could just enter round two of my morose attitude.

Sorry, this post isn't much fun tonight. To be honest, I would much rather be happier than what I am, but I'm clinging to old habits. My ruts and patterns are hard to challenge. I find myself drawn to things that are familiar and comfortable and too predictably negative. I'm afraid to take the leap of faith and enter the light. OK, Napoleon keeps entering my thoughts and I would be remiss if I honestly didn't mention I thought about him most of the weekend. The situation which used to be a "hot summer's afternoon of play and passion" is turning into a "icy frozen nightmare where I'm horribly frost bitten all over." Ah, shit. I feel the whole situation is a poison I created myself and I can't seem to walk away. Wanting to have something that's toxic for me; I always seem to latch on to it.

With Naps, I want to hold, love, share my world with him, but those feelings are too dangerous for a myriad of reasons. It just can't be. Life with Naps would throw my world out of balance and life would become drama intense days, probably ending up with me hating him or with me going half insane. Mr Napoleon seem to placate my issues. Does love ever make sense though? As Lady Miss T recently told, "You can help who you love!" No truer words have ever been spoken about my love life situation(s). Geez, I've picked some real winners in my time.

Eventually, I'm going to broaden the picture about what's so wrong. I know a few weeks ago I was singing beatitudes about Mr. Napoleon. See, that's the thing. One day he'll run hot with me, the next day he'll run cold and aggravate me to no end! There really isn't a happy medium. Am I rambling? I'll continue with the Napoleon saga tomorrow when I feel my thoughts are more coherent. For now I'm going to take a chance I can sleep peacefully and leave all my worries by the riverside...

Acting MOC: Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel, born Mark Sinclair Vincent on July 18, 1967, is of Italian and African-American descent. I personally think he's one of the hottest men around these days, although I think his acting is a bit questionable. Oh well, you can't have it all.

Athletic MOC: Jason Taylor

Jason Taylor is perhaps one of the hottest players in the NFL. I selected several tantalizing pictures that defines his suave, comfortable, and casual cool that's alluring and very sexy.

Taylor was born September 1, 1974 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and currently plays defensive end for the Miami Dolphins of the NFL. He attended the University of Akron. Taylor has a total of 106 sacks (as of December 19, 2006), placing him third amongst currently active players, and is credited with 36 forced fumbles for his career. He has been selected to five Pro Bowls.


Taylor was featured in a pictorial, "Ten Sexiest Athletes", in 2001 by Sports Illustrated. I'd say they choose just right!

For a friend....

A friend and I were discussing Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, formerly QVC air personae, the other day. I had promised to send this picture I have found on the 'net via email, but I decided to share on my blog. Not bad, eh? I have it on good authority he's a card-carrying homo too.

Athletic MOC: James Blake

Next to baseball, tennis is one of the few sports I enjoy watching for the sporting value. While I enjoy watching sports, its easy to get distracted by all the testosterone running down the line or dribbling down the court with football and basketball.

I first learned to appreciate tennis when I took the class to fulfill my gym credits in college. It's a relatively fun sport. Still, every now and again, there's some eye candy that reminds me I'm still a gay man. James Blake is one such piece of eye candy.

James Riley Blake was born on December 28, 1979, in Yonkers, New York, but grew up in Fairfield, Connecticut. Blake dropped out of Harvard University after his sophomore year to pursue a career in tennis. Blake was inspired to pursue tennis after hearing his role model, Arthur Ashe, speak to the Harlem Junior Tennis Program.
A little known fact about Blake is that he has scoliosis and for five years as a teenager, he had to wear a full-length back brace for 18 hours a day, though not while playing tennis.

He's survived his share of difficulties as an adult. During the 2004 Italian Open, Blake lost his footing on a damp clay court and slammed into the metal net post. He had broken his neck and had narrowly avoided paralysis.

Since that time, he's a rising star in the tennis community. He's definitely an inspiration overcoming adversity and obstacles where most people would've thrown in the towel.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

It's a Saturday Night! It's St. Patrick's Day! I have a few dollars in my pocket! Look out bars, cause here I come! Hahaha! Actually, I probably will end up in State College tonight. If I do, I'm sure I have a story or two to blog about tomorrow.

If you go out, enjoy yourselves and drink responsibly! Remember, everyone's Irish on St.Patty's Day!

Friday Night and Winters Return

It snowed today. Dammit. Just when I thought the Old Man would cut us an early break, the snow returned with a vengeance today. My work didn't let out early. I had an opportunity to leave a half hour early but my one coworker I share a cubical with has a small toddler at home, so I voluntarily stayed so she could get home to her son. Teresa's a sweetheart and I was glad to do it for her.

So when I did prepare to leave; I cleaned off my and a few coworkers' cars. Driving was tedious and precarious at times. I hadn't been to the grocery store and was out of cat food, supplies, and other necessities, so I didn't go directly home. Giant was surprisingly mildly crowded and not the madhouse I thought it would. I'm grateful to be home now. Fortunately, I don't have anything to do tomorrow except dig out my car.

Fabulous

Always a day late and a dollar short, I finally had the opportunity to see Dreamgirls. Jennifer Hudson rocked the house. She definitely deserved her Oscar.

Proof "Vote-for-the-Worst" is believable

See, Taylor won last season. I love his latest single...oh wait! What single?

"I'm Going Home...."

"Popularity breeds contempt..."
Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?"
Culture Club, circa 1982

So There you have it folks. The first contestant voted out of the the top twelve is Brandon Rogers. I wasn't surprised the bottom four contestants were Brandon, Phil, Haley, and Sanjaya. Well, I was a little surprised Phil was in the bottom three. It should've been Brandon, Haley, and Sanjaya. If it were a fair contest Sanjaya or Haley would've heard Daughtry's song "I'm Going Home," but we all know American Idol's voting system has major flaws. It's a popularity contest, thus my quote at the beginning of this blog.

Overall, I'm not impressed so far with this season of Idol. Even Diana Ross' performance seemed a bit "pitchy" and off key at times. I could've sworn I saw Simon groan and make a face at La Ross' singing. And by-the-by, who told her to wear that too-tight fitting outfit??? She's slim, but her hips and "padunkadunk" were extremely noticeable. For an aging diva though, she still commands stage presence.

Poor Sanjaya. He knows he should be the one packing his bags, but young teenage girls' (and boys' I suspect) across the land votes are keeping him on air. Lord, please don't let this be a repeat of seasons past underdog contestants John Stevens and Kevin "Chicken Little" Covais! Someone please put Sanjaya out of his "Idol" misery SOON! It's embarrassing watching the poor kid suffer.





A part of me feels for Sanjaya though. The boy is really trying the best he can, but he is way out of his league. I won't touch upon his apparent sexual preference either (not that it matters,though some of my female coworkers think he's such shy young man, he couldn't possibly be gay. He's just awkward. Awkward teenage boy stage my ass!!! He's GAY! Whoops, sorry. Wasn't going down that avenue... ) This one observation though, tonight Sanjaya had a hungry, longing look in his eyes like he wanted to hug and kiss all over Phil and Brandon tonight! I feel ya, Sanjaya. I want to hug and kiss Brandon too! (Damn, no more black men on the show!)

I was talking to Napoleon's mum last night and she clued me into a website encouraging votes for the worst candidate each week on Idol. I'm including a link for you to check it out. The group running the site is called the "Worsters" and found at www.votefortheworst.com.









I almost want to start voting for Sanjaya each week just to make AI revamp their voting system. I mean, wouldn't that be a trip if the worst contestant on the show ended up as the next American Idol??? AI would lose all credibility....

Spring in the Air

It's beautiful outside today! Too bad I'm stuck inside working. It certainly seems Spring is on its way! Woo-Hoo!

Spring is Just Around the Corner

Today and the last few days have been pretty pleasant weather wise here in Central Pennsylvania. Old Man Winter is attempting to leave us alone and let us welcome his sister season Spring.

On my birthday weekend, a friend of mine gave me a little herbal garden kit, knowing how much I like to plant fresh herbs come Springtime. After settling in from "oohing" and "ahhing" over my new washer and dryer, I broke out the herb kit, got everything ready, and have been watering the pot ever since. The instructions said to keep the soil damp, but not let the seeds rot.

I have to admit I was getting a little discouraged because sprouts were supposed to form within a few days. I put the herb pot in a window sill in my kitchen thinking that was the best place to get the most sunlight. Every afternoon I'd check on my labor of love only to walk away a little downtrodden and I was just about ready to shit-can the project and chalk up my losses. I'm not very patient with growing plants indoors. I'm used to growing things in a garden outside, but since living in an apartment, that isn't too much of an option.

Fate smiled today as came home, exhausted from work, and I happed to see several small specks of green in my herbal pot. Awwwight! Finally. The sprouts are just tiny little fragile blossoms, but nevertheless, still a sign Spring's mojo is starting. My herb pot came with Marjoram, Sweet Basil, Chives, Parsley, and Thyme. Ah, now only a couple of weeks till I get to sample my herbs in some culinary delight.

I love the Spring.

A Stallion's Asian Lesson

Overall, I'm not gonna trip over an Asian man like my straight brethren do over Asian women. I'm attracted to Asian men least than other men, but perhaps that's due to my past experiences.

I haven't known many Asian men, only women. The few I've known haven't always been kind, like the guy I lived across the hall from in the dorms, Yu-Tan. I carried negative opinions about them for years. Foolishly, arrogantly, perhaps even with a touch of racism, I judged all gay Asian men to be the same.

That opinion changed a few years ago when I met a Vietnamese man at the bars downtown. He introduced himself to me, we bought drinks, talked awhile... we had a nice long conversation. His name was Kahn Li, and yes, we exchanged numbers. I never called him, he never called me. It was one of those live in the moment deals. I'm OK with it. He was cute and I learned to appreciate beauty in all its forms and ethnicity.

The important lesson I learned is I still have to put away many of my preconceived notions about people. I still have too many misconceptions about Asians. Like everyone else, they believe in tradition, love, glory, what not. It surprised me with Khan how open he was about his sexuality. How kind and polite he was to me. As I've said, I've been mistreated in the past by some folks. Looked down upon because I was Black, because I was heavy, because I was perceived as less intelligent. Khan, in one evening, got me to reexamine my mistreatment from an expected treatment from the whole to an isolated incident from the few.

Asian men are beautiful and exotic, but I rarely am I drawn to them like an African American, Latino, or Caucasian men. Still, I sometimes find myself ogling over a few. My tastes in men variety like the wind. I find smallish, but not too wispy, guys attractive. I regret never calling Kahn. Perhaps things could've been interesting. I dunno.