I Dreamed A Dream

There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting.
There was a time ...then it all went wrong...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hopes were high and life worth living,
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid,
When dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night,
With their voices soft as thunder,
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side.
He filled my days with endless wonder,
He took my childhood in his stride,
But he was gone when autumn came.

And still I dream he'll come to me
And we will live the years together!
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather.

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream
I dreamed.

Like any man with an alternative sexual persuasion, I have my favorite my Broadway Musicals. For tonight, I'm focusing on the the musical Les Miserables. I chose to post this song because most often my life seems to be drawn into dark corners and unwise decisions.

The first time I saw Les Miserable I was about 26 or 27. I was instantly drawn to the song "I Dreamed a Dream." I felt the pain of the character,as she looked back over her life and saw the good times gone bad. I've always harbored on the morose side of life and when I really feel down, I often catch myself humming or singing this song. Believe it or not it cheers me.

My reason for posting this tonight is a personal reflection of my own. Today will be the last day ever I can say I'm 36 years old. I'm not sadden tomorrow is my birthday, in fact, this year my birthday has the making to be the best ever. I'm just taking a moment to look back over the last year and years of my life and see where I've been. Sure I've had my bad times. I've even had my destitute times, but like the legendary Phoenix, I always seem to regroup and rise from the ashes.

Some dream may have faded. Some may have been wasted, but as I enjoy the final hours of my 36th year of life, I acknowledge the wisdom and strength I've gained from my failures. Somethings are never meant to be. Period. Somethings are meant to test our mettle and give us the hope, the courage, the strength draw from within and to be completely human. Unlike Fantine, I have my job, I have friends and loved ones who care about me; I have the courage to persevere. Yet still, a part of me understands the pain. It can be all too familiar. My birthday wish for the my 37th birthday to continue on this quest always with hope in my pocket and a decent song in my heart. Braveheart, kiddo.