I have the fortunate pleasure to live next door to my municipality police department. It gives a sense security and also, from time to time, a source of amusement. Last night was definitely one moment to chalk off as amusing.
My deck faces the back entrance and parking lot to the township police department. I was standing on my deck smoking a cigarette when two cops, who must have been coming off duty, came bursting out with the usual raunchy exchange. It's not uncommon to hear the shouting all kind of explicative and vulgarity. Cops are human too and I never have held them in any higher standard or esteem than necessary. Anyway, their usual banter doesn't come close to anything remotely homoerotic until I head this exchange...
"You got ass don't you?!?"
"Yeah and you got a great big ghetto ass!"
"Bet you'd like a piece of this ghetto ass too, huh?"
Now maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion, but this didn't seem like a typical fraternal ribbing or moment of jocularity. It was real. The two were loud, but it seemed quite serious. I was grateful to be standing in the shadows witnessing this interaction. It was strange. I'm sure they both have wives or girlfriends at home, but nevertheless, it was one of those quirky moments that tends to stick in your crawl.
Queer behavior among straight me fascinates me. I don't know why. It should irritate the hell out of me like people who get sun tans during the summer, but are racist as the day is long against people of color. No, I guess what ponders me is what goes through their minds when they behave in such manner? And, is it really just stupid frat antics going on or is there a deeper seeded desire for real same gender attraction? I remember all the course on Human Sexuality from college and all the studies preformed by Kinsey and Masters & Johnson. Sexuality is supposed to be a c continuum where no one person is exclusively heterosexual or homosexual. I, myself don't necessarily identify with being "gay," "queer," "Same Gender Loving," or even bisexual, I'm just me. I personally hate labels. Yet if most people ask me, I will say, depending on the individual that "I'm gay." or "I'm bisexual."
However, "straight" men, can't come to terms with the possibility that their homo-play has anything to do with attraction. From the guys I've known, it's always been a sore subject, an affront to their pride and a dent in their masculine armor. Being queer to the "straight" guys I've know has always been something as less than feminine, an abomination that dares not rear its ugly head.
Tonight's observation only leaves me wanting. I don't have a uniform fetish, but I do have some curiosity on hyper-masculinity. It's moronic. Those very same men would take every opportunity to kick my ass, than fuck my ass. Still I wonder beneath all the layers of man-pride, how many of them would dare taste from the forbidden fruit?
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