Only A Couple Hours To Go....

This IS the last post for 2007. (God, Ian, just go out already!!!)

I caught this photo on Flickr (the guy on the right hat says Happy New Year). It typifies how I usually feel about the whole New Year celebration, but surprisingly, I'm in a good most this year. So far.

Have a safe and good evening. Happy New Year! See you tomorrow in '08!

NFL Hunks

The next pictorial contestants folks are men of the Nation Football League!

By now I guess I've made it absolutely clear I like guys, huh? Well duh, LOL.

I have to admit I fall into that awful gay man stereotype that only likes sports because men are involved. Yeah well...

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy football and the activity, but, yeah um, I do get distracted by all that maleness and testosterone on the playing field. C'mon on my gay brethren, admit it. Don't you see the sheer sexiness out there week after week September through January? Muscles, shoulder pads, helmets, and tight spandex...you got it!

These guys are rugged and hyped! OK, I realize there are some scary lookin' bear types out there on that line of scrimmage too, I guess I'm just pandering to the Receivers, Running Backs, Quaterbacks...shit, all da 'backs you can think of!!! Hmmm. A certain Sir Mix-A-Lot song comes to mind now. I wonder why? Hahaha. I'm so stupid! So gay! I'm trying to be humorous.

So what? I'm wasting time, trying to increase my blog posts for the year before midnight. Silly isn't it, but I'm having fun with it. You know you love Darktomahawk's taste in men. Who can resist handsome ass L.J. Smith, Will Demps, James Thrash, or Mr-Ultimate-Ebony-Fine, Reggie Bush?!?!

Yeah, I thought so! Huh!

Last Temptation For 2007

I was surprised when my boss asked if I wanted to leave early this afternoon. I wasn't anticipating it at all. It was dead, dead, dead today. I jumped at the opportunity because I wanted to catch a short nap before going out to dinner later.

I still can't believe that this year is just a few hours from being over. Wow! Where did the year go? Time really does fly. I can't complain though. No maudlin posts today. 2007 had its challenges and adversities, but overall, I enter 2008 a little more wiser. That which does not kill me, makes me stronger. I learned some valuable lessons this year. Of course I can't recall what, but I'm trying to put a positive spin on the day and not be negative. Each day is a blessing, whether we realize it or not.

Anyway, continuing with my picture posting from last night, I was trying to think of a way to meld my blog thoughts with the excuse to post man eye candy. Then it cames to me. Myjah! Oh yeah. I saw brother man today and he had on the sexiest pair of jeans. This coincides with the guys I chose last night to display on the Axe.

Without being negative, let me fill you in on the busted situation. Basically Myjah is gay. He hasn't come out and said it, at least not directly. He's a circular talker so you often have to listen carefully to what Myjah's saying to get his point. In our conversations, I gathered that he's heavily involved in his church and his faith. Myjah is Pentecostal, a denomination that doesn't mix well with yours truly. He's gone a long way not to say he's gay, but drops hints like "When I was going to the clubs" "When I was in the streets," "When I was living the life... But I don't live that way anymore."

Um, what? Huh? Living the life? Isn't this a coy term I've heard others use to say they were gay? Don't you love just euphemisms? Yes, I contemplated he may mean a life of sin, but there are other gay indicators too. I've said before Myjah dresses nicely. Too nice for a straight man. Plus, Myjah breaks the eye contact rule all the time with me. You know the rule! Any time a man stares you in the face, in your eyes, longer than few seconds, it's a good indication he might be gay. Seriously. Most of my straight male friends never look directly in my eyes. They get unnerved and uneasy. Its a threat to their heterosexuality.

Myjah stares me down. HARD! Even I become a bit unnerved because the look is almost one of a hungering, a longing for something licentious and lusty. (It kick starts my ego someone feels such lust for me. It doesn't occur often, LOL.). I know Myjah probably had to put away his homosexuality when he was redeemed in church. If he was "in the life" before, when he got saved, he had to surrender his sexuality to God and fortify himself against sin. The verdict is still out for me if homosexuality is sin. I believe immorality is a sin, but is being gay? Does being gay equate immorality? Sure, if a gay man is spreading his seed with every man from Philly to Chicago, Hell yeah, that's sinning. But what about a gay, loving, monogamous, committed relationship between two men? Is that? I maintain I've not been able to reconcile my sexuality with my faith. Perhaps in '08 I will.

Whatever the answer, whatever Myjah's situation, I've decided to ease away from him and try not to let things bother me. We still talk. He knows my story. I'm beginning to learn his. But damn, he was lookin' fine as Hell today. No doubt about that. His jeans fit in all the right places and give perfect definition to an ass you could bounce quarters on! Just enough curvature, just enough back! He had my favorite shoes on with a snug, but not too revealing cotton button up shirt. Myjah knew I was checking him out. He turned around once while I was checking out the goods. I felt like I'd been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. He just gave me that smile of recognition, like his eyes spoke aloud, "I know you're watchin' me. Keep on!"

Some Final 2007 Men: Happy New Year 2008!

OK, I had four more of these posts I had wanted to do, including one with some beautiful women, but time is running out, just like the year. I gotta get to bed!

If I get home early from work tomorrow or if I can drag my ass out of bed early in the morning, I'll try to finish posting my selections.

Tomorrow might be busy and I fear this could be my final post for 2007. You never know, though. I might try to blog from work tomorrow, but it'll be tricky.

Maybe the Powers-that- be will even let us out early tomorrow from work. Yeah, uh-huh, I doubt it!

I got in trouble last week because my boss had the perception I was being disruptive about working on Christmas Eve. Well, perhaps I was a little. I never work on Christmas Eve. Each year I take the last two weeks of the year off, and I was more than irate working Christmas Eve this year. Unfortunately, with my health problems last summer and fall, I wasn't able to put in my time-off request nor did I have enough leave time. We'll see, though.

These next men are guys I find handsome and cute. Yeah, I know. Cute is not a very masculine adjective, but there is something gentle to some of these guys that rugged, handsome, phiiiine, whatever machismo word you want to use, doesn't do justice....

You'll notice I have a couple of guys with braids and dreads, which is a big turn on for me. I love a man who can carry his Afrocentric hairstyle well. Speaking of braids, I'm about due to get mine put back in. Hopefully my cousin Ronnie will be free this week so she can do something with my untamed mane. I've been playing the roll of Heatmiser (or Sonic the Hedgehog, take your pick) for too long now. I'm gonna start the new year looking as fresh as I can, LOL

In any case, if this is my last post for 2007, I wanna thank everyone who has read the blog and stuck by my bad grammar, occasion left out word, and awful puns all year long. I wanna wish ya all the best for the next 3-6-5. 2007 has been a real blast and let's make 2008 better! Don't give up on me. Keep on reading. I'm starting to get more readership and see the counter is slowly increasing.

Godspeed to all of you out there! Happy New Year!

Darktomahawk

Nothing Like A Sharply Dressed Man

Forget the man in uniform. Gimme a well dressed man in business attire! DAAAAMN! Too sultry for me! LOL

More Shirtless Sexy

Shirtless Sexy

Hot Chocolate For A Snowy December Night

It's Snowing outside after it had rained all day. The temperature dropped earlier in the evening and it's chilly outside. I'm freezing my ass off tonight!

My libido is in overdrive tonight. On a cold night all I want to do is snuggle up with a warm body and keep warm. Well, maybe do a few other things too....Seeing how I don't have a man or woman in my life right now, I'm gonna post some beautiful men and women to night to remind how much I'm missing.

Believe it or not, I'm not lonely at all. My friends have been there for me this week. Christmas Day was beautiful. I shared in the joy of the season. Sure, Santa coulda brought a man to place under my tree, but what he did give me was genuine compassion, care, and love from God-given friends.

As promised, Leoben, Leonard-Benjamin (that's where his name derives. Leoban is named after his grandfathers), came over the other night to nurse me while I was sick. He spent the night and, yeah, he even cuddled me. I'll give him the medal of honor award of the year for that. I'm not the easiest person to lay in bed with because I thrash around in my sleep. But Leeb was a trooper, stuck out the whole night, and left shortly before I had to leave for work. I was blessed. I am still blessed.

Still, even though there's no attraction to Leoban at all, it was comforting having a warm body next to me. I was missing it the last few nights. Maybe 2008 will be the year someone dark and lovely pops into my life to stay? Let's hope so. Despite the fiasco with Myjah and my recent slip up booty call with Napoleon, I haven't given up hope. More than anything I'm quitting being Napoleon's bitch in 2008. Miss T keeps praising me for setting good boundaries with him lately, but I didn't confess to her we had a rendezvous this month.

I'm not ashamed or embarrassed about the encounter. Angry with myself, yes. Napoleon is still chasing after the hope he'll get back together with Linus. Some people never know when to let go. I don't wanna to be that way with Naps, holding out the hope he'll wake up and realize he and I need to be in a relationship. Oh Ian, do wake up my boy!

So my hope, fervent prayer, is someone is in the waiting for me in the days to come. I deserve a decent life partner. I deserve to stop eating shit sandwiches and allow myself to have a decent full course meal! Life will be so much better when I pull myself out of the miserable relationship drama that has come before. More than anything, I need to remind myself infatuation is not love. Lust is not love. I keep thinking of the Bible passage on love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

What Were You Doing New Year's Eve 2007?

As 2007 prepares to make its hasty departure, I sit here pondering, as I do every year this time, what exactly I achieved, didn't accomplish, and need to improve in the next 365 days.

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of the whole New Year celebration. I hate New Year's Eve. The reflection television shows of all the disasters, highlights on celebrities who died, the moments that all were, well it's just dreadfully depressing to me. If you're not out some where drinking your liver away on December 31st, what's the point to the holiday? Kidding.

Some choose to spend the evening in church participating in Watch Night services. Let's just say I' not a big fan of sitting in church all night either. Let's not talk about my fiasco last New Year's Eve when I fell in church. A small recap...

My usual New Year's tradition is some friends and I go out to some place fancy, dine, then retire to someones home to watch Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve on ABC, usually scarfing down Rosie's delicious homemade cookies with coffee. For 2007 Eve, last year, Lady Miss T, Rosie, Kwame, and I decided to go someplace less up market, Red Lobster. Kwame, also, wanted to go to church, as is the tradition in his tribe (village?) back in Ghana. We went to a Ghanaian church north of the city. By the time we finished eating, services had already started and the only available seats were in the front row. Ugh! I hate sitting anywhere near the front for any public outing whether it be church, conferences, the movies, concerts, what have you...

Seeing we had no other place to sit, we headed up the aisle, with me pulling up the rear of our group. There was a two year old child who was running around and was misbehaving like crazy. This confirmed I wasn't in traditional African-American church because no African-American mother would allow her child act out, misbehave, and embarrass her like this child was.

So just as I reach the front of the pews, the child cut me off, slammed into me, and I tripped over the child, and fell flat on my face, all the while trying not to land on the little boy. It was the single most humiliating moment in my life in church.

Needless to say, I did not step foot in any church again until 8 months later. The only reason I went then was to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. It was a family gathering and no excuse would have been excepted to recuse myself from attending! Fortunately, the church was in my grandmother hometown just outside of Baltimore, about two hours away, so no one who witnessed my accident would be attending the service.

I have no intention of going to church this year!

You Are Missed Please Come Home Safely!

I hate to think about the war with the Holidays and all, but the violence all across the world is sickening. With the assassination occurring last week in Pakistan, the suicide bombings in Iraq...sigh. The world has gone insane!

Do you remember 9 years ago when we were all worried about Y2K? It seems laughable now, but I know many folks who took it seriously, myself included. Now with the final leg of first decade of the 2000s in the final two years, it seems like this decade has changed the world and anticipates to be more violent than ever before.

I support American soldiers abroad. Let me be clear about that! What I don't support is the senseless deaths of any military personnel serving in Iraq or the deaths of innocent Iraqis. While I think we were misled into entering the Iraq War, I believe World Peace is possible, it unfortunately comes at a cost. Like so many have told me, "freedom isn't free." I just wish our men and women could come home soon. I have a friend serving Afghanistan. I've another serving in the Middle East somewhere. I worry about them all the time...

My thoughts and prayers are with the troops and with their families back here in the US. I keep thinking some young person, 18-19 years old, that son or daughter, who is away from home the for first time for the Holidays, spending them in the cold desert, thousands of miles from home. Yes, I get sentimental and empathetic. Isn't that what the Holidays are about??? Peace, good will, and glad tiding to all mankind? I feel anguish that somebody's child couldn't be home for the Holidays this year. That somebody's child will never be home for the Holidays again.

My friend Laurie passed on a website, that if you would please take the time, check it out, and consider doing something nice for a stranger. I know Christmas was last week, but in the true spirit of Christmas and the Holidays, Christmas is 3-6-5 days of the year. Check out Anysoldier.com. Consider those soldiers, perhaps fighting in a conflict you might disagree with, are still someone's son or daughter, wife or husband, father or mother, and they are missed by their families at holiday time....

Where Da Hell You Put Mah Pants???

Ah yes. It's been awhile since I posted some naked men on the blog. I'm pulling out all the stops before the New Year starts. Let's see what goodies I can find on my computer to post tonight.

Alas, none of these men were around my Christmas Tree this year. Still I can dream, can't I? Before the Holidays are over, I'll have write a piece on my fantasy Christmas.

My weekend is good so far. I caught up on sleep yesterday from being under the weather. Later this evening I'm headed over to Queen Hester's for dinner and a movie. I'm grateful for her help these last few months because there days I don't think I woulda made it if it weren't for my friends this year.

I wish I had some sagely, inspirational words to accompany my pictorial post, but words fail me right now. My brain is all befuddled still from my little bug I caught.

Leoban, a regular reader of the Axe, questions why I post so much eye candy. He feels I'm sublimating my true desires into posting all these hunky men I probably will never have. Perhaps he's onto something, but hey, this blog is about me! I post what I want. At least I do put intuitive thoughts on the Internet and not just regurgitated pornography. I put artistic representations of the nudes and photos I find on the 'Net. I made a promise when I first started I would never post graphic sexual acts, erect penises, or vagina's wide open, or the like, on my blog. I have no problem with those things, but again, the Axe is my blog of journey and discovery, not an excuse to be pornographic. I may be many things, but perverted isn't one.

And yet, have I been over the top with my male nude posts? I've been good with the women I post. To be honest, I'm floating in the 85% homo/15% hetero scale these days and am not interested in posting too many women, clothed or unclothed. I release the "Inner Queer" trapped, and still upon occasion, for far too long.

This last year really has allowed me to be more open with myself and attempt to further be at ease, not just sexually speaking, but emotionally speaking as well. By thrusting my demons out there for everyone to see, I allow myself to become greater than I have been.

Whatever you think of my blog, I hope there's some aspect you find insightful, amusing, pleasurable, intriguing, or entertaining. It has been a wonderful experience this last year for me...