So last night I was browsing through Target and Best Buy for some things around the house. Not Holiday shopping mind you, just errand needs... I usually hate shopping, espescially due Christmastime. I like getting in, finding my prize, and getting out. Occassionally I might get sucked up in the "ooh's" and "ahh's" of I want this or I could use that, but mostly I have no patience for shopping.
With consumers out and about doing their seasonal feastive duty, somehow this year I find myself perplexed and at a lost this year. For one, my family is not exchanging presents. So there is no need for hussle and bussle. Two, despite best efforts, the Yultide has failed to embrace me in its comfort of glee and glitz. I'm Scrooge or anything, just not feelin' all that damn jolly.
In conversation, a friend pointed out it's too early for the Holidays to be in full swing. Really? Seems to me the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier every year. It's almost to the point soon after Labor Day we'll be hearing carols and muzak along with seeing artificial trees in the stores....
Dare I confess I've become passe? The horror? In truth, I'm realizing Christmas is more than the collective rush to buy material items to plaster with glitzy paper for one day only, perhaps to be exchanged the next day. Shall I use the evil "c-word" commercialism, say it's crept into destroy the so-called nostalgia I once head?
Analysis this. I profess to believe in the tenets of the Christmas story. Baby born in a manger, angels, shepard, bright star, all that... When I really do think about things, what does anything I do today have to do about that original event? Now I won't go off on whether certain aspects really happened or question the virues if faith. My point is the original point and gift to Christmas was about LOVE.
Funny thing. I'll admit this for the first time outside the walls of therapy, after 40 Christmases, I've never truly gotten the one thing I wanted or person was looking for. I always knew it was something you couln't put into a box or wrap with shiny paper. Until this morning I didn't realize that has been missing has been "love."
Don't get me wrongan love has existed in my life, but not perhaps in the purest form as it did waaaaaaay back when, when a small gift to the world promised hope.
Something to think about. Thanks for the rambling moment
