Conversations Wit' Myse'f

Neither this evening, nor today, ended up being what I anticipated. Apathy chile, simply apathy. Shoot, so what' it gonna take to get my mojo back?

"Back? Nigga, your nevah got started!"

"Hold up! Who da fuck?!?!"Excuse me a minute fellas while I give the Anti Ian a beat down.

{ Cue noises of strangulation in the background!}

Look away brothers, this here ain't pretty!

O-Tabey. Now where was I? Anti-Ian has been following me around all day and I'm tired of his ass. A man can only take so much negativity in one life time, ya know? I'm not listening to ignorant side of my persona today. He's just wanna wallow in defeat and I really don't have time for that. Today I accomplished what I accomplished and I need to pat myself on the back for it. No matter how big or small the achievement, it's one less thing I need to do tomorrow.

"Yeah, well if you hadn't been online all day, flirting with them guys, maybe you woulda got more shit done." {Anti-Ian still gasping for air, evokes....}

{Blogging Ian rolls his eyes.} Okay, Anti-Ian's got a point. I did hit the blogs and social connection sites a little hard today, but I'm expanding my network. Did I exercise like I wanted to? Well, no. Did I clean up the bedroom closet like I started Saturday? No, those clothes ares still neatly piled in the corner...

"See!"

BUT! {Blogging Ian gives Anti-Ian the "you-bettah-quit-it-I-ain't-playin-wit-you" look} I did finish the laundry, cleaned both bathrooms, cooked dinner for the week, and called my job about returning to work... so score some points for a brother. And while I don't necessarily think I'm gonna find the love of my life online over at Facebook or anywhere else, hey... a little flattery to the ego, doesn't hurt none.

Got a major compliment with a guy I've been IMing and doing the "mating dance" with from a Facebook compadre, that injected tons of moxy to my self-esteem today, even got some real flirtatious offers (hence my Temptation post earlier this afternoon).

The most important thing for me is to relax, take my time in all things, be patient with myself, and allow the Creator to do HIS thang with me. As my body aligns with spirit, everything will fall into place. Love will come, if ever, when it comes. Not a second beforehand. Besides, if I cannot love myself, including Anti-Ian, then how can I love someone else?!?!

{Anti-Ian and Blogger Ian both nod in agreement.}