Boyfriend, Birthdays, & Action Figures

I knew I was running late for work this morning when I drove passed my morning boyfriend walking across the State Street Bridge.

Ah...my morning boyfriend. He's a definite cutie! I don't actually know the guy, but I've seen him on and off for the last four years during my morning commute. There are days when I'm glad for the visual epiphany! Others where I'm screaming obscenities cause I'm gonna be late as Hell!

The morning boyfriend is a very cute, Abercrombie & Fitchish, but not too "white bread," kinda like a more mature frat boy who realizes its time to grow up. My fellow is in his mid 20s (not a word Hester!) and he works for some State office downtown. His most stunning feature is he has the most perfect, round, bubble butt I've EVAH seen on a white guy. DAAAAMN! The picture the right is no comparison!

Oh the thoughts, the licentious thoughts, those dirty, erotic, nasty, can't think about anything else, thoughts. One day I almost ran into the car into front of my trying catch a glimpse of that azz in the rear view. Oh and his face ain't bad either!

This morning before I left the house was a comedy of errors. I woke up late, getting my ass outta bed at 7:15! Normally I'm up at a quarter till six and need to be out the house by 7:25, no later than 7:30. The commute takes about 30 minutes to navigate the congested traffic through all the happy little State workers takin' their slow-ass, annoying, lolly-gagging time, driving 10 miles under the speed limit.

I'm notorious for obeying the speed limits and barely doing 5 miles over, but in the mornings, the gloves are off! I'm a maniac trying to cut across the boroughs to get downtown. I have to be at my desk and clocked in by 8 sharp. Plus, Lawd knows my day ain't starting until I've had my Mocha nut flavored coffee and Quaker Walnut, Date, & Raisin Oatmeal! This requires being on time though. Nope. Not this morning! No time for breakfast today. I was ready to eat the carpet by lunchtime. At least I had my "eye candy" to tide me over, eh?

So after passing "morning boyfriend" (If I had to give him a name, I'd call him "Brett." He's so delicious it really doesn't matter what your flava man you regularly enjoy, you'd like Brett. Mmmmm.) I was flipping back between the Tom Joyner Morning Show (TJMS) and WINK 104 on the radio. Between the two programs, one of them gave a roll call of celebrity birthdays for January 17. Among them were James Earl Jones, Eartha Kitt, and Muhammad Ali. Really?

Wow! How interesting. Now Eartha Kitt, despite what was mentioned in Too Wong Foo, was the ONLY Cat-woman who rocked the house in the original Batman TV show.

Sorry Julie Newman and Lee Merryweather, but Eartha kicked ass and was sassy! A true sophisticated Diva. And who doesn't jive over her voice and enunciation when she speaks? Hmm? LOL.

James Earl Jones, the voice of CNN and Darth Vader from Star Wars, is a damn fine actor. I've always admired and respected his acting ability and his own challenges over adversity. I remember seeing a biography on him where it was mentioned he had a stuttering problem as a youth. You'd never know it now.

As far as Muhammad Ali, well he's just the greatest of all time.

Interestingly enough, I didn't think about this until I was driving home from work, but I guess all three of them at one point and time have been action figures!

Yep only a true child of the 70s would remember Muhammad Ali had not only his action figure, but a TV show, and cartoon series. I had to laugh at myself because memories of my older sister giant Barbie head doll and Ali's action figure met there unfortunate demise one day in my youth.

In case you've forgotten, but the Barbie head was just her head and shoulder made life size so girls could style her hair and paint make up on her face. Clearly till this day I can see the hideous thing side on my sister's toy table, staring out, menacingly with the annoying glamor bitch smile only Matel Toy Company could manufacture.

One day, I got the obnoxious idea to cut all the hair the damn thing to torment and placate my big sis. She got the last laugh though. Like every other little girl in the 70s, my sister also had the Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven. Once she had seen my handiwork, she snatched up several of my action figures (boys didn't play with dolls, not even ones who grew up to be homos!) including my Ali, Batman, and Six Million Dollar Man, threw in the oven, and melted the shit out all of 'em. Ah, childhood memories.

Thanks Eartha, James, and Champ. I hope y'all had an awesome birthday. Thanks for all the childhood memories. May the Force Be With You as You float like a butterfly and sting like a bee! Yes, that's perrrrrrfect!