Any way the wind blows

Last week wasn't a good week. I'd almost say it was one of the worst for me. Things lately have been cropping up that I don't understand or am at a loss for explanation. I find myself confused and demystified by life and wondering where my place is in the grand cosmic scheme of things. Perhaps its a moment of mid-life crisis, but it feels isolating. Very lonely.I'm trying to focus on the positive aspects I have going on, but which each positive a thousand negatives rise from the depths of my memory and past and all I feel is a profound sense of shame. What's going on?

I'm not sure what triggered it, but I have some clue as to the solution. The solutions cuts to the core of who I am, or at least think I am, and I realize I need to do some soul searching. Then again, I also believe I know where the restlessness started...an innocence delving into fortune telling. A simple question returned by a very complex answer. I didn't like the answer. Perhaps that's why folks should stay away from the Tarot. Sometimes the answers you seek aren't meant to be revealed all at once. I know I'm rambling, but too is on my mind...