Wednesday, July 28, 2010
You cannot hide your true emotions now, even if you try. It's like they are posted on your forehead and everyone can see exactly how you are feeling. But still, your sudden emotional outburst may surprise others. You feel it coming and know that it will encourage someone else to express his or her feelings, too....
Sometimes though, you just got to say what the fuck, and jus' do it!
For a friend who spoke up when they needed to the most.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I have grown disillusioned with life and I'm not sure what the fuck to do about it. Everything seems trite, tired, and blah. I'm not depressed, just rather colossally bored. No, bored isn't either. Something is missing from my life and lately no matter what I do to fill it, nothing seems to bring me completion.
Now I won't sit here and bemoan about what I don't have. Lord knows I have plenty; in fact too much! All my needs are met. I want for very little and yet there's the void.... Hark! Is this truly the decent into a REAL mid-life crisis?!?! I often joke about having one but usually it's just Ian being melodramatic as per usual. In this situation? I find myself longing for thing that aren't there or just don't exist.
I'm at a loss for words now because I don't know how to express that "something" that just ain't there. That something I know SHOULD BE there but isn't. Is it because of immaturity? Misdeeds? Inactivity? Sin? Stupidity? Come Universe send me a sign here. You know I walk by signs and wonders....avow there is no such thing as coincidence. Speak loudly and clearly! You also know I'm rather dunderheaded. That rustling in the breeze business only leaves more questions than confirmation.
So what am I doing wrong here?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
What's good people? I know it's been a minute since I've penned a thought or two but things have been unusual on my end. Things worked aiight with the car. As anticipated, the was costly repai needed. Took care of it and I moved on without a second thought...
The next set of circumstances has been harder to manage. Doubt, fear, and almighty insecurity decided to become unwanted houseguest and I've been forced to look at the very issues I try ever so carefully to keep in check.
My esteem has taken a bit of a beatin'. Oh but - should rephrase and say my ego has. I'm going into reasons why; I"m far too embarrassed to explain, but I find myself wanting and demanding more than I've had previously. Call it a midlife crisis. Call it a stupid man finally trynna gain some sense, I dunno. All I know is I wake each morning and I don't like my environment! My min is putting me through changes to fix things and I won"t be at peace until it's settled.
Is this normal? I've never claimed to be, dance far too long to a different beat, and only when I realize I'm the only one hearing that tune how bizarre I must seem to others.
I need to dance with someone for awhile...
While this blog is not really intended to show adult content, I can't guarantee that an occasional image of male nudity won't appear. Be advised that this blog is intended to be read by people with an open mind. I don't claim any rights to the images nor do I have any knowledge of the sexuality of persons featured (unless they are openly gay...duh). Enjoy yourself and take a small step in my every day life and pondering... Feel free to email any comments or opinions.